The Pre-thirties, Panic-induced Passion Project

Today I turn 29. And I’m taking stock: one move abroad at a young age, one uni experience, a skydive, a sausage dog, one long-term relationship, currently single. A move to Madrid, a move to London. A few exciting career shifts, a number of great trips, an amazing family and one superb sister, a few incredible close friends. iPhone storage always full, an obsession with soup and cinnamon buns, a hatred of celery. One year until I turn thirty. 

There’s nothing like the big 3-0 to throw you into a bit of a panic. While I’m not all that concerned about the number itself, it has made me think a little more about what’s currently missing in my life, and what power I have (if any) to change that.

Whenever I engage in casual conversation with people of my age group I like to ask the question “What’s on your pre-thirty bucket list?”. More often than not, the question is met with chuckles followed by a semi-panicked expression. The question retrieves all kinds of answers. You get the typical find love, buy a house, land my dream job. But you also get some corkers, which are my personal favourites. 

The funny thing is, while I ask this question a lot, I had never actually focused on my own pre-thirty bucket list. Perhaps I was fishing for inspiration all along. 

I have loved writing and creating from a very young age. I started writing when I was around three years old. My mum and I would sit after school and, initially, she would write a few sentences out with guidelines drawn below for me to copy her words neatly. She would ask me about what we had done that day, and the sentences were always something like “We played on the swings, we fed the chickens and we saw nanny and grandad and had lots of fun”. I loved doing this with her. A few years later I was writing little stories, fashioning little books out of a few folded pieces of A4 and writing away - mostly about cats and hamsters. The little booklets soon evolved into longer tales, and I’d come up with ways to create more interesting-looking bindings, cutting the pages into shape and sewing along the edge with a blunt needle so they would turn easier. User experience always front of mind.

As I grew up, both drawing and writing were always a big part of my life. I had countless diaries and storybooks written by yours truly, and I read a lot. A lot a lot. As time went on and I started to work, every single one of my jobs was related to writing or communication in one way or another. And I was never satisfied. I’d be working three jobs to pay for uni, earning enough money to have all the fun I wanted along the way, but I’d still spend hours researching freelance writing jobs. I remember editing a confidential Mexican government agreement at the ripe age of 17. I landed myself 5 starts on Upwork, of course. 

While I could delve into my professional endeavours in much more detail, this piece isn’t about that. At 29, I’ve come to realise I no longer have a creative outlet, and I haven’t for some time. I still work in communications, still thoroughly enjoy it, and still retain that never-ending desire to do more. So here we are. The panic-induced pre-thirties passion project. All the Ps - I love alliteration. 

An outlet, a learning curve and a way to communicate, hopefully creatively. Recently I’ve been more inspired than ever by creative types, writers and artists, and it’s about time I set aside my fear of being cringe and got cracking on a little something that will fill my own creative void. So I decided to create Musings and Memos. 

This comes with no end goal, other than to write, create and share - all for the fun of it. Because somehow just tapping away on your laptop but never hitting publish doesn’t quite have the same thrill to it. And if I can write about something interesting or relatable to one other person, that’s an enormous plus. 

So, behold, a little project is born. With its adjacent Instagram account I aim to update with a variety of creative bits and bobs, including articles that tell stories of my own as well as other’s experiences, things I feel are interesting to write about or share, perhaps even a review or two. Basically, anything I find to be worthy of a little keyboard tapping. 

I foresee a few learning curves along the way. Firstly, overcoming the aforementioned cringe of “putting myself out there”. A concept quite paralysing to me, but one I aim to conquer sooner or later, and when better to do it than in the last year of your twenties? I only have one year left of being entitled to be reckless without it being socially unacceptable, so here’s my version of “reckless” (now that’s cringe). 

The second learning curve is writing-related. While yes, I have been writing my whole life, I’ve never quite done it like this. I’m by no means the best writer, and I don’t intend to be. So bear with me. I’ll (hopefully) get better, manage to synthesize a wee bit more, and potentially have a good point or two to make. 

I’ve been ruminating on this for some time, and there’s no time quite like the present. My little passion project begins, and I really do hope that by the time I hit thirty, I haven’t uncovered another seemingly innocuous void to fill, that will eventually have me re-assessing my life decisions. Oh wait, I did say I wanted to run the London Marathon at some stage. Crap.